Britney Spears Claims She’s The Fastest Person Ever In Bizarre Instagram Post

We all have our own ways of dealing with isolation. Me personally, I’m currently pretending my balcony is the front of a ship that I’m sailing to virginal shores.

In reality it’s just a balcony. Going nowhere. And all I can see is the flat in front of me.

Britney Spears on the other hand is getting through it pretending to be the world’s fastest ever human being.

What are you talking about, you’re probably asking yourself. Well yeah, we’ve all been asking ourselves the same thing.

So this story began just hours ago when Britney Spears took to Instagram with a photograph of her phone stopwatch. The time on the watch reads 5.97 seconds.

Now it’s hard to understand what she’s talking about but it sure seems like she’s claiming to have run 100 meters in that time.

Taking to Instagram, she wrote:

Ran my first 5 !!!! Getting over your fear of pushing it in the beginning is key …. once I did that I hit 5 !!!!! Usually I run 6 or 7 …. my first try was 9 …. and now I did it whoop !!!!! 100 meter dash.

Just for the record, if she is claiming to have ran 100 meters in 5.9 seconds she is claiming to be the fastest person, ever.

The current world record for the 100 meter sprint is 9.58 seconds, set by Usain Bolt in 2009.

View this post on Instagram

Early to the Beach 😉 #jumpin #pumaswim

A post shared by Usain St.Leo Bolt (@usainbolt) on

So Britney is, potentially claiming, not only to have beat that record, but to have almost beat it twice as quick.

I hope to God this is true.

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