If you’ve got three thousand smackeroonies spare and you’re wondering what would make a good investment, then boy, have I got some good news for you!
Let me introduce you to MSCHF’s latest invention: The “Jesus Shoes”.
Now, now, I know what you’re thinking, Jesus didn’t wear Nikies, did he? No, he didn’t. I think he preferred a nice ol’ pair of Gladiators.
But think about it. If he were to suddenly rise from the dead (again), then he would probably trade those dusty sandals in for a fresh pair of customized Nike Air Max 97s, right? He’d definitely want to fit in with the rest of the entitled millennials.
So MSCHF have answered his prayers. They’ve bought a bunch of Nike sneakers and designed them especially for those who want to feel Jesus in their soles. These 97s have been injected with holy water sourced directly from the River Jordan to make sure that every step you take, is blessed.
Despite each pair costing a whopping three grand, they sold out within minutes of their debut. Imagine that. Only in 2019, can you hear about this sort of mind-blowing content.
Sticking with the “holy theme”, the “Jesus Shoes” features the Bible verse Matthew 14:25 wherein Jesus’ power to walk on water is discussed. Other religious touches include the frankincense-scented insoles and a not-so-subtle crucifix threaded through the laces.
And would this whole thing be complete if the packaging didn’t have an angel stamped on it with a seal that perfectly mimicked an official papal seal? Well, it’s your lucky day because MSCHF did exactly that. They’re giving the people what they want.
And so far, we’re all impressed. The only downside is that the company hasn’t announced any plans to create any more of these limited edition sneakers, so we’ll just have to wait for the announcement.
Let’s hope it falls sometime between now and Judgement Day…