Man Arrested For Three Poo-Throwing Attacks In Toronto

In the most repulsive news of the year, a man has been arrested for three separate attacks in which he hurled feces at unsuspecting and innocent bystanders.

The twenty-three-year-old man, who is yet to be named, was arrested on Tuesday night by Toronto police and was subsequently taken into custody at around 6 pm.


The man’s arrest comes after three separate, and completely unrelated, attacks in which he would throw, what is believed to be, feces at random people.

In one instance, a bucket full of “liquefied fecal matter” was thrown over an unsuspecting female student outside a University of Toronto building. Another saw the suspect throw a bucket of a similar substance over a student working in the library.


Eyewitnesses estimate that there was around “twenty liters” of fecal matter in the buckets, and many admitted that they didn’t initially realize what the substance actually was… Until the smell hit, of course.

One eyewitness told CityNews, “The smell hit like two minutes later and it was a really foul smell. It’s something like if you were working at a construction site, you know one of those mobile bathrooms, and you just went in there like a very concentrated feces-like smell.”


But, thankfully, the man has now been caught, and it looks like his poo-hurling days are well and truly over.

“We thank the community for their help and their support with this investigation,” said Constable Alex Li, “It is quite disturbing, but our team has put all our resources together and thankfully we’ve made an arrest on an individual and that person is going to answer to the charges in court tomorrow.”

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