Bill Is The Tinder Profile We’ve All Been Waiting For

Ah, Tinder. It isn’t the most romantic of places, is it?

The dating app plays home to some incredibly cheesy pick-up lines, painfully awkward conversations, and the slight overuse of the Giphy keyboard. Oh, and it plays home to our friend, Bill, here.


Bill has been hailed as one of the best accounts knocking about on Tinder, and, boy, does he get the matches in.

The sixty-nine-year-old (get it?), describes himself as a “single, atractive [sic] man looking for a woman to cook me supper.” But be warned, ladies, because Bill “ain’t got time for no games because I work and only have time for hanky panky”… Okay?


It may be wise to note also that Bill isn’t on Tinder for anything too serious, and he certainly doesn’t want any children.

“I don’t want kids so don’t be asking me to make you a baby, Karen.” He wrote sternly on his bio. So all you broody ladies out there take note – Bill is a busy man and very high in demand, so don’t be trying to tie him down with any children, now!

But Bill knows how to respect himself and his body.

Quite understandably, Bill is bombarded with messages by eager women on a daily basis, but he always knows when to draw the line and remind his love interests that he is not a sex object. Oh, and he knows what he wants.

“If you can’t cook supper, don’t come at me trying to get me to sex you up. I’m a tradishinal [sic] man ok.”


Oh, and it might be useful to note that Bill isn’t real, and is simply a parody account only here for the laughs.

Sorry to disappoint all you single ladies out there.

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